Just for fun

When I was clearing out some clutter, I came across this (got this during nursing school) and thought you might get a kick out of it too.

THE LAYMAN’S GLOSSARY OF MEDICAL TERMS:

Artery -- study of paintings
Bacteria -- back door of a cafeteria
Barium -- when treatment fails
Congenital -- friendly
Dilate -- to live long
Enema -- not a friend
Fester -- quicker
Fibula -- small lie
G.I. series -- army baseball
Hangnail -- coat hook
Impotent -- distinguished; well known
Labor pain -- getting hurt at work
Medical staff -- doctor’s cane
Nitrate -- cheaper than the day rate
Outpatient -- person who has fainted
Pap smear -- fatherhood test
Pelvis -- cousin of Elvis
Postoperative -- mail carrier
Prostate -- flat on you back
Rectum -- dang near killed him!
Rheumatic -- amorous
Secretion -- hiding something
Seizure -- roman emperor
Terminal illness -- airport sickness
Tibia -- country in North Africa
Tumor -- more than one
Urine -- opposite of you’re out
Varicose -- nearby
Vein -- conceited